Don't Therapize Me

For the past few years, I have made it my practice to select a Word of the Year. Each January I have carefully chosen a word for my year's focus. That word becomes the lens to process my experiences and causes me to be more intentional and aware. It's been enriching to move through "Courage", "Gratitude"and "Balance". By focusing on the one key word, I've been able to see how many opportunities there are to explore and enjoy further meaning each day. Two years ago I selected " And, " as my Word of the Year and liked it so much I wasn't done with it so it's on again for 2022. I have notepads with my Word in my office and it's framed on walls in both my home and businesses offices. Even when it isn't my Word of the Year any longer, it will still remained framed on my walls. What makes " And, " so special compared to other words and why do I keep it on my walls? My answer begins with noting that And is capitaliz

If you ever plan to have kids, it's never too early to talk about parenting goals and styles. In a previous blog, we discussed planning for the 18 year-old-kid you want to launch. This post addresses your mindset or philosophy along the way. It's never too late to get on the same page, as long as you and the other parent agree with the idea that same page parenting is foundational. What is Same Page Parenting? It's an approach to parenting that respects each parent and the children. It holds a "for the good of the family" mindset unless you no longer live together. Then it holds a "for the good of the children" mindset. With Same Page Parenting, both parents agree on major decisions and support each other. Both parents present a united front to the children. Both parents use the same discipline. Note that discipline is a lifestyle - punishment is a penalty. I do not believe in punishment. The proper discipline provides the framework you need to raise he

If you can answer yes to 2 or more of following questions, you might be an I-Told-You-So parent. If that's the case, the rest of this post will describe why you need to switch to Reality Discipline. 1. I tell my kid(s) that if they don't  _________, this ________ will happen [If you don't finish your breakfast, you'll be hungry] 2. I remind my kid(s) about things that they should have remembered to do/not do... [If you had brought your jacket, you wouldn't have been cold] 3. When I remove a privilege, I say something like "See? If you wouldn't have done ____, this wouldn't have happened?" [Aren't you going to remember next time????] 4. I think that describing things to my kid(s) ahead of time is very important because my words will help guide them [So if you leave you bike out one more time, it might get stolen...] 5. I give lots of warnings and don't follow up [You won't get to have your birthday party!! Your tablet is gone forever!!!

  Before you invite a loved one - especially an elderly one - to come and live in your home, be sure and take a good look at this list of questions. Your heart and benevolence is wonderful. Pause first. If someone has declining health or cognition, you will be asked to provide a lot of information to others even if you aren't a power of attorney because they live with you. Obtaining the answers to these questions before you make this life-altering decision will tell you a lot and reduce future stress. Find out now whether your loved one can't or won't provide this information. They may drag out or dismiss your questions. I say get 24 answers and all the documentation lined up first ... or say no. 1. Birth date, place of birth and social security number 2. Full names of all spouses, dates of marriage, divorce and death 3. Obtain copies of all insurance policies and ID cards - speak with a representative if they use the VA 4. Do they have Medicare Parts A, B and D? (Note: wit

  What parenting a toddler and having a broken foot* have in common: * Considering you must keep off the surgery foot for 6 weeks by using a knee scooter 1. You can't reach things you need when you need them 2. You don't remember where things are 3. Strangers come up to you and ask questions 4, Your laundry hasn't been done in weeks 5. You keep changing your schedule 6. Going to the bathroom and showering is a challenge 7. It looks easier than it feels - every pebble is a jolt 8. You finally found your favorite top under the bed behind the laundry basket 9. You yearn for someone to make you meals and bring them to you 10. It takes a long time to get something done 11. The world doesn't stop and wait for you 12. People forget what it's like  13. Your car is full of a lot more stuff 14. Family members notice what you're not able to do 15.  Some days, it's just hard to be upbeat 16. Whenever you sit down, you remember something you forgot in the other room 17.

 Here's what I would to my own children if they were still littles and only if they were aware of the news:   Early Elementary talking points - not addressed in one sitting, sprinkled when asked: "You know there are over 201 countries on this planet.  Some are really big and powerful, some are growing, and some are really small. We live in one of the biggest countries. Right now, the leader of one the other really big countries has decided to try and take over a smaller country named Ukraine. Ukraine does not want to be taken over. Ukraine is fighting the bigger country to stay separate. A fight like this is called a "war". A war means different people fighting about who they think is right. Most of the whole world thinks that attacking Ukraine is not okay. Our country - the United States of America - does not think this is right and wants to help the people living in Ukraine. There are a lot of people in the government arguing about what to do and that's what w