Don't Therapize Me

If you can answer yes to 2 or more of following questions, you might be an I-Told-You-So parent. If that's the case, the rest of this post will describe why you need to switch to Reality Discipline. 1. I tell my kid(s) that if they don't  _________, this ________ will happen [If you don't finish your breakfast, you'll be hungry] 2. I remind my kid(s) about things that they should have remembered to do/not do... [If you had brought your jacket, you wouldn't have been cold] 3. When I remove a privilege, I say something like "See? If you wouldn't have done ____, this wouldn't have happened?" [Aren't you going to remember next time????] 4. I think that describing things to my kid(s) ahead of time is very important because my words will help guide them [So if you leave you bike out one more time, it might get stolen...] 5. I give lots of warnings and don't follow up [You won't get to have your birthday party!! Your tablet is gone forever!!!...

Keeping our eyes on the prize means having a picture of what you would like to see in your 18-year-old child. You can create this picture before they are even born. And if you're just reading this now and your kid is 17,  you can do it now. Grab their other parent, sit down and start a conversation. Having a picture in mind does not mean saying you want to raise a baseball player or a farmer. That's what's on your mind. Having a picture means having a picture of the character you would like to teach and and ideas about the things you would like to expose your child to. Your goal is to help shape the person your child will become. Here are just a few suggestions to consider: You get the idea? The list is non-exhaustive. Being intentional with our kids allows them to be more informed as they begin to shape their interests in middle school. Some of the things we model or expose them to they'll grab on to because it resonates with them. Some of them will be fleeting - like ...