Two years ago I selected "And," as my Word of the Year and liked it so much I wasn't done with it so it's on again for 2022. I have notepads with my Word in my office and it's framed on walls in both my home and businesses offices. Even when it isn't my Word of the Year any longer, it will still remained framed on my walls.
What makes "And," so special compared to other words and why do I keep it on my walls?
My answer begins with noting that And is capitalized and followed by a comma, not a period. The comma is there to let you know we're not done yet and more is to come. That reminds me of hope. I chose "And" over "but" one day in session with a client and it occured to me that "but" seemed more of a caveat or a wary second option. Almost like a heavy sigh. "I don't have a new phone, but I can still make calls on the phone I do have." It almost sounds apologetic, doesn't it?
Look at what happens when we replace but with "And,": "I don't have a new phone, And I can still make calls on the phone I do have." See how empowering this statement becomes by adding And? Just a subtle shift and we're sounding empowered.
Two things can be true at once. "I'm unemployed And, __________". Fill in the blank with things like "I had fun yesterday", "I can make good decisions", "I want to learn to ski". The front part of the statement doesn't preclude more possibilities and it doesn't have to limit us.
The period in our thinking limits our possibilities. By replacing the period with a comma, we add possibilities. Options. Curiosity. Try making statements by adding an "And," behind your first phrase. It's not "I'm unemployed." That sounds final and daunting and we know it isn't the only thing that defines us. There's so much more - so why not throw out an "And," as see what you come up with?
I've found myself adding "And," to most statements that clients make opens up whole new conversation threads that help digest the first part of statements in powerful ways. "And," helps us take note of the things were are responsible for. In a world where the marketing and mandates of Covid remind us how much control we don't have, I think we need to grab and hold tight to the fact that a little word like "And," tells us we have all the control we need. And, it starts right within ourselves.