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The "Good Enough" Parent

 

When I was in grad school in I-forget-which-class, the professor shared that studies had shown that you "only had to be a good enough parent to raise great kids." What great news for any parent, but especially the Type A ones who turn themselves inside out on behalf of their kiddoes trying to make sure everything is perfect. 

As a therapist, I've shared this concept often. It finally occurred to me to apply this concept for any undertaking and take the pressure off. Instead of saying "I'm going to have the cleanest house ever", or "I'm going to write the most incredible paper," or "I'll be in the best shape I've ever been in this year", what if we adjusted our thinking? What if we aimed for being "good enough"?

That's what happened to me recently. I was preparing a message that I wanted to be outstanding. Each day I strained as I prepared and became consumed with perfecting it. As I was getting nowhere, I reminded myself about "good enough" parenting. It took all that pressure away. I was able to relax as I prepared and enjoy myself. The result was a genuine message that was received very well. It was comforting to know that I was "good enough" and that "good enough" was good enough.

If I had stayed focused on my performance or my perfectionism, the message would not have been good enough. By relaxing and shifting my mindset, realizing everything can't possibly consume all of our energy, I enjoyed the rest of my preparation and all of the delivery.

Over the past holidays, I challenged clients to have a "good enough" holiday. Lower the expectations about the picture perfect unrealistic holidays and be there with friends and family. This idea was well accepted and I was happy to hear about holidays that were less stressful.

Good enough parenting isn't just a comfortable concept for parents to adapt, I think it's one we could all use and I intend to continue to do that.

Here's to a "good enough" year!


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